Drug Safety Analyst Pillows

Drug Side-Effects Research Division

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

'This charge is for the office visit, this charge is for blood work, and this charge just about pays off the doc's school loan.'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Death, Pestilence, (Drugs) War, Famine.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

"There's something very wrong with this picture, detective."

Uncle Mort's Storytime. Billy the pachyderm was a nice guy who got a sticker stuck in his thigh. Restrooms. Went he for help to his mouse friend Fred … I'll take our yer sticker, Dr Fred said. Just one question before I advance. Who do you have for your insurance? I am not covered, poor Billy cried. So, limp Billy did 'till the day he died. Waaaaaah!

'Well at least they died with smiles on their faces.'

"So despite the strong smell of petrol you still claim that your husband, cat and budgie all spontaneously combusted?"

Work Accidents

Man putting up accident prevention sign falls off ladder.

'Ah, those were great days. The Pre-Accountability Era.'

44.3 million Americans without health insurance.

"Everyone who's unhappy with their health system is here."

'Now for the eye test, can you read my bill?'

"Relax. I'm not here to administer last rites, but to help you pray your insurance will cover all!"

'I can't understand it. I was driving one way on a one way street.'

"Yes, the treatment is very effective, especially for those who can afford it."

Pill testing

Fire Sprinkler Manufacturing

"The latest car safety data is in, and it's still really really bad to crash into things."

"Your insurance has run out. We're discharging you from the 'Observation Care' floor to the 'Who Cares?' room in the basement."

'Give it to me straight, doc. If I outlive medicare, will I have to flee Canada?'

"We could market them as anti-aging drugs."

"We should mention a few mild side effects. If here are none at all, people will be suspicious."

'The killer should not be hard to find - he has left a trail of inserts.'

'We've simplified the warning label to 'May result in lawyers'.'

Lifeguard. These safety regulations have gone too far.

"All cartoons must now conform to Health and Safety regulations. . ."