Drug Dictionary Aficionado Pillows

"Now that you've taken all the drugs that start with 'A' I'd like to start you on the 'Bs'."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

'It's the first animal in their dictionary, Inter-Planetary Publishing Protocol is to always list the most intelligent lifeform first...'

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"Spoiler alert...Z."

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

Thesaurus Publishing: In a Meeting, Gathering, Conference, Forum, Discussion.

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

'Yes, sure, certainly, you bet, of course, yeah, right, yep....'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"The definitions in this dictionary seem at odds with the words they're describing?"

"Doric Ionic Ozempic"

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

Maintenance & Repairs. No wonder health care is so expensive, they told me to take to tablets every four hours.

Thesaurus Publishing: Push, Shove, Thrust, Nudge.

Meds Toast

'It's a retrospective of Bernanke's most obtuse economic jargon...'

Side Effects

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

Thesaurus Publishing: Welcome, Greetings, Salutations

Samuel Johnson

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

"I don't like playing Scrabble with Gracie! She totally makes up all kinds of crazy words! And they're always in the dictionary!"

'The larrikin was shirty because his crowdy wasn't flyless.'