Drone Technology Critic Gifts

By a Former Drone Operator

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

Crap from the future.

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

"AI chat bot"

Social media and censorship...

Modern Life Blues

Split Decision

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

"I'm gonna want that taxidermied."

"We're having a lot of trouble with this model, sir - it's lasting indefinitely."

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

'It's been going on for three years. When can we tell Scott it's really a shredder?'

The next drone flight

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

'Sure, we kill a few innocent people with drones, but think how many innocent people die in auto accidents.'

Turnkey Totalitarianism

"My battery died too. Wanna talk?"

The nurse of the future

By a Former Drone Operator

When technology goes too far #2. The wireless yo-yo. q

Dogfights/Drone Fights

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'Sir, our new automated telephone system saves us $20,000 annually, but our phone business has dropped 66%!'

The boss said he could never replace me with a computer? That's right --- because computers sometimes experience power surges.

Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.

"Would you put down that Kindle?"