Driving Law Jester T-Shirts

"The reason I can't show you my licence is because you took it away from me yesterday!"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'How about a game of cards?'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

Tourist

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

Basketball.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'He started it!'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'