Lawyer Jester T-Shirts

"Calm down! This wood doll is the best attorney ourcompany ever had."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

'How about a game of cards?'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Yawning barristers in court

A baby in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

Justice 4 Ron

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.