Driving Aficionados T-Shirts

"....not once have I had a oil leak."

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Sailor in Car.

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

Caution (arrow falling from sky sign)

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Penguin Remote

Man helping a mini learner driver

Safe Driving.

"Perfect."

'Oh - go get yourself a porsche.'

'I'm OK, but the car is in 'intensive care'!'

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

I love my motor.

'The penguin is upset...'

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

Valentino Rossi (the Doctor)

Chicken Road Crossing

Old woman knocks down man because she didn't have enough gas to go around him.

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

'My other baby is Mercedes'

Self driving car containing a baby elephant

'It was HIS fault, he was doing the SPEED LIMIT!'

'In retrospect naming the business after me probably wasn't a good idea,'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

"Ma'am, do you know how well you were driving?"

I love that new elephant smell.

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.