Drink With Death Pillows

"Hang on mate - are you off-duty..??"

Happy Hour

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

Dolphin friendly tuna

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

The Devil's advocaat.

"I'm the designated driver."

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

'Single or double?'

"I'm worried about Junior... all he wants to do is kill things."

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

'Seeing it's your birthday, lets go and get rat arsed.'

'I'm having what he's having.'

"India ink, straight."

Feedback Card: How was your death?

"And a bag of peanuts."

'I drink so much alcohol I'm afraid to smoke!'

"We all have our own Christmas spirit. Mine's bourbon."

OUT of ORDER

HOw the Cat WOund Up With Nine Lives.

Beefeater cocktail