Drink With Death Pillows

"Hang on mate - are you off-duty..??"

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Happy Hour

Dolphin friendly tuna

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

The Devil's advocaat.

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

"I'm the designated driver."

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

'Single or double?'

"I'm worried about Junior... all he wants to do is kill things."

'Seeing it's your birthday, lets go and get rat arsed.'

Happy Holidays. Egg Nog. Put a head on that eggnog. That would make it an "egg-noggin"!

'I'm having what he's having.'

"Would you mind?"

"India ink, straight."

"And a bag of peanuts."

Feedback Card: How was your death?

OUT of ORDER

'I drink so much alcohol I'm afraid to smoke!'

HOw the Cat WOund Up With Nine Lives.

Beefeater cocktail