Drink Menu Explorer Prints

"It's what you asked for. Orange juice with pulp."

This cocktail menu had me sold on a pink squirrel right up until they got to the word "scurry."

"Lager!"

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Low-Energy Drinks

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

'Whatever he's eating.'

Coffee Menu

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Coffee

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'The customer is always right...'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'Hard or soft science?'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"You want organic, we'll make it organic."