Drink Keeper Hero Pillows

Larry was always invited on camping trips because of his ice chest

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Happy Hour

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"Hey! Hey! I could gopher another lemon drop over here, please and thank you."

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

"It's a full moon somewhere."

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

'Tough day at the office! Somebody broke the water cooler!'

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

Join me in a Caiprinha!

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

"I belong to that heroic little band of unemployed on whom a healthy economy depends."

"There! Now let's hear no more noise about wanting a glass of water!"

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'

Pints of Lager