Drink Keeper Hero Pillows

Larry was always invited on camping trips because of his ice chest

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Happy Hour

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

"Hey! Hey! I could gopher another lemon drop over here, please and thank you."

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

"It's a full moon somewhere."

Join me in a Caiprinha!

'Tough day at the office! Somebody broke the water cooler!'

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

Pints of Lager

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'