Dressage Coach T-Shirts

'Horse Play' 'We never mastered the choreography part of freestyle dressage, but we still wanted to have a role in the competition.'

The Victors

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

Riding School Chaos

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

A Girl and Her Horse

Dog Wrestling.

Bumpy Ride

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

Fitness Course.

"The hardest thing about learning to tumble is the floor."

"Kids are all the same nowadays - anything for kicks."

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

Learning to Ride

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

'How many times have I told you to not call while I'm in the middle of a competition?'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

"She just seemed to lose all ambition when Mark Phillips got married."

Acupuncture.

'This new gymnastics coach kind of gives me the creeps.'

A pony's eyes will tell you a great deal about his character.

'I'd like to know who the genius is in corporate who built our new distribution center right next to the Olympic Archery Training compound.'

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

'In and out! In and out! Get it right ponies because in the real event you also have a human to look after!'

Learner Riders

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

The job interview took an odd turn.

"OK, you have your assignments for today, and remember, safety first: Ensure the kids wear their riding helmets..."

Dressage

'I'm going to take a wild guess and say 'dressage'.'

Dart Training School - "The Right nutrition is vital. I want you on lager and chips until the competition."

'Dressage?! But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

Doesn't he seem really stiff?