Dressage Coach T-Shirts

'Horse Play' 'We never mastered the choreography part of freestyle dressage, but we still wanted to have a role in the competition.'

The Victors

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

Riding School Chaos

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

A Girl and Her Horse

Dog Wrestling.

Bumpy Ride

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

Fitness Course.

"The hardest thing about learning to tumble is the floor."

"Kids are all the same nowadays - anything for kicks."

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

Learning to Ride

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

'How many times have I told you to not call while I'm in the middle of a competition?'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"

Acupuncture.

"She just seemed to lose all ambition when Mark Phillips got married."

A pony's eyes will tell you a great deal about his character.

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

Learner Riders

The job interview took an odd turn.

Don't look a Gift Horse in the Mouth

'In and out! In and out! Get it right ponies because in the real event you also have a human to look after!'

"OK, you have your assignments for today, and remember, safety first: Ensure the kids wear their riding helmets..."

Dressage

'I'm going to take a wild guess and say 'dressage'.'

Dart Training School - "The Right nutrition is vital. I want you on lager and chips until the competition."

'Dressage?! But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

Doesn't he seem really stiff?

'Yes, I see your point...We may have to raise the rings...'