Dreidel Enthusiast T-Shirts

Time to take your dreidel for a spin.

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

The Fall of Gnome

"Garden variety allergies."

'It was a real scroller. I couldn't put down my screen.'

"I got tired of 'Moby-Dick' taunting me from my bookshelf, so I put it on my Kindle and haven't thought of it since."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

"I fell in the mud again. Maybe I need a stunt double."

A convenient attack of swine flu...

The Boss.

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

Watering the garden gnome

Balding gnomes

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

'It's that damned gnome that attracts them!'

Middle-Aged Man Celebrates Birthday Riding Escalator Without Holding Handrail!

'You were a book all along.'

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Out of Emergency into Doctor's Lounge

'All I'm saying is I wished you'd specified where you were going put the gnomes when you asked me if we could get some!'

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

'Remember, you said, a change is as good as a holiday!'

The great and near-great

"Gnomeschooling is harder than I thought!"