Dream Partner Enthusiast Pillows

Personal Ad.

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"You lack spontaniety."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Waterfall of Disappointment

"I'm experiencing bouts of heavy breathing and dizziness when I'm speed dating!"

Real Estate Personals

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

Biological Cuckoo clock

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Ostrich Bar

"You're right. This is better than sex."

My personal ad specifically said I was a "dog person who enjoys walks on the beach."

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

Women's Idea of Sharing/Men's Idea of Sharing.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"The lunch, grab the lunch!"

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

When kissing a woman, try not to burp.

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

Second Thoughts Wedding

I've been going on a lot of first dates lately, but nobody wants to go out with me for a second date on Valentine's Day. The architect made other plans and the banker has no interest in seeing me again. The pilot doesn't see our relationship getting off the ground and the teacher thinks one date was enough --- she said she learned her lesson. What about the dietitian? I thought you two had a great time. We did --- but she's looking for somebody higher up the food chain.

The brochure did say to watch out for the bottom-feeding fish.