Draft Pick Strategist Pillows

"Look, I can't talk dude—Megan is leaving me and—what? I can still draft Aaron Judge? What about Ohtani? Check. I'll hold."

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Perils of the double play.

The Other Cooperstown

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'Let's go over our secret play.'

"I love fast break business success."

Baseball Fantasy League Draft. 27 Trout. Everybody wants that rare player who can do it all on their team. Yeah, a player that hits for average and hits for power! Who is also terrific with a glove and has a strong throwing arm. All along with having great speed! Excuse me, I just don't understand it. Why are you always making such a big deal over a five-tool player?!

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

"Uniformly accelerated motion"

'Are you blind ref?'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

Snail Coach

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.