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'I need a break. What can I download that'll take an hour?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Socially distanced sledding

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

My first mistake.

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"I just finished a 10-day cleanse. Now it's time to retox."

DIY Shelves

The Screeeen!

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

Two men talking in front of half finished driveway. 'Your wife did mention you'd had an economy drive.'

'Yes, been meaning to call maintenance to put up that shelf for ages now...'

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

'Edwards, you fool, I'm Dr.Blake - the experiment worked! It means riches and fame for me - us! I meant us!'

"Done already?" "Yeah. I'd hate to get too sexy. I don't want to distract the airplanes flying overhead."

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

"He's finally installing our security system."

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

'It's just a first draft.'

Lost Property Trust - For the careless investor.