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'I need a break. What can I download that'll take an hour?'

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

Socially distanced sledding

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'It's true -- we DO communicate better in a chat room.'

My first mistake.

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"Constant delays and confusion over Brexit are causing the firm huge problems. . ."

"I just finished a 10-day cleanse. Now it's time to retox."

DIY Shelves

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

The Screeeen!

'I don't surf the net, I just kind of dog-paddle through it.'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

Two men talking in front of half finished driveway. 'Your wife did mention you'd had an economy drive.'

'Yes, been meaning to call maintenance to put up that shelf for ages now...'

Poor Holiday Gift Choice...The Lucifer 2500, Talking GPS Device.

'He's at the 'awkward stage' in converting to paperless so he carries both a laptop and a briefcase.'

Driving school car has sign on the rear; 'How's my learning?'

'Edwards, you fool, I'm Dr.Blake - the experiment worked! It means riches and fame for me - us! I meant us!'

"He's finally installing our security system."

"Done already?" "Yeah. I'd hate to get too sexy. I don't want to distract the airplanes flying overhead."

"I'm scanning these old photos we're afraid of losing into my computer so I can lose them there."

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

"Dad, let's play hide and go seek. I'll hide your data, and you seek it. And when you can't find it, you pay me to return it."

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

'It's just a first draft.'

'She's system two and this is the new beta release.'

Lost Property Trust - For the careless investor.