Doubtful Believer Gifts

"Do you really believe, Gerald?"

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'The Bear' pub, changed to 'The Bull.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

'So help me, which god?'

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

"To find out if God exists let's ask an expert."

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

'Oh my god!'

"I think you've got the wrong person - I'm an atheist."

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

Reference and Economic Reference.

"Michael Sherlock once said: 'Religion isn't about peace, love, or the betterment of our species, it's about power and control. Religion uses fear to control and milk its flocks. Fear of God. Fear of the Devil. Fear of death. Fear of being seen as deviant for expressing non-belief. Fear of social sanctions and in some countries, fear of legal sanctions. Fear is a powerful tool to manipulate the masses and religion has mastered its employment.' ..."

'If it wasn't a conspiracy, how come Lee Harvey Oswald is named after two rabbits?'

"She's a natural,apparently she still believes in faries and Santa Claus!"

Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on.

St. Gregory Church - We will not be undersaved.

"I prefer a politician who is deeply religious but also doesn’t take any of that nonsense seriously."

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

"We are both 'godless'. I'm just the one who knows it."

New Pope.

"Last night, I challenged your god to a duel. I won by default because he never showed."

"Of course I believe in God. He's as real as Santa."

"Do you offer a warranty?"

Holy Water

"What if I told you that your god told me he was not real? Would you believe me then?"

"Today there was fierce rioting between different religious orientations. Numerous people were killed or injured."

"The next seven verses (Deuteronomy 22:23-29 KJV) are shockingly barbaric. So we are pretending they don't exist."