Dorm Life Raconteur T-Shirts

"If this dorm is co-ed, why are there 27 guys and just me!?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

College kid rakes up his clothes on the floor in messy dorm room

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"Enjoy university darling, and don't come back during the holidays, we're going to air BnB your room."

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"And the next thing I knew, I was kissing her, and two of her friends, I think one was a dude, then we all did Ecstasy, rented a limo, and went to Vegas—but I swear that's all that happened."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Student rakes leaveslaundry in dorm room.

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

Magicians make terrible roommates. 'Did you clean or just make everything disappear?' 'Where's my keys?!' 'You know I have an early class!'

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

Social butterfly

How was your week on the lake? Twig fell in lo-love! Oh, tell me! Why did I say that? Now I'll never find out anything. Relax, momster. $20 and I can provide a full background report. Done! Boys are so communicative!

"How much would it cost if I don't take classes but just live in a dorm with a meal plan?"

'Once upon a time'...'I've hear it.'

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

The world's oldest braided rug

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

"Thankfully, college is preparing us for unemployment."

Brenda always had Safe sex

"And this is where I met your mum."

'I've been offered a week under the viaduct and three nights in a pizza hut doorway, after which I get my own cardboard box.'

'I understand that the two of you had a rather successful collaboration on our new sex manual!'

Using a Snow Blower in Dorm Room.

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'

"You've just been copying things from my sex diary into your sex diary."

'I need the love of a good woman - see to it, Pendleton!'

Take It From Me: Who Uses Your Bathroom Is So Not a Big Deal

Stainless steel dorms!