Doorway To Laughter Pillows

Lateral Recruits

"Soon you'll be sucking your thumb AND tying your shoes...they call it multitasking."

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"We've decided to give you a bonus, Rick. It's any change you find under the cushions."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"What fly?"

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."

'The Angina Monologues'

"Family vacation is an oxymoron."

Tour de Pothole.

"Because he didn't even change your name. That's how I know he was talking about you."

'In these troubled times, I thank God there's still one barrel left we can afford.'

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!

'Don't worry about it, Son — Kleptomania runs in the family.'

Librarian of Congress

Snowman tries on carrot noses.

This was so fun! And now I'm going to call your mommy in here so I can go get a glass of wine. Amy's aunternal instincts kick in.

"Honestly, I think this was a waste of money."

Hospital patient using his thermometer on the remote control.

"The adult diapers I understand, but the adult binky..."

'That's why we're vice-presidents, and he's president.'

welcome / Good riddance: "Over here. That's the back door."

"Looks like the copier's broken down again."

'Well, you've met the couch potato. Now meet, the chips.'

A monk plugs a leaking cask of alcohol with his finger.