Doorway Philosophers T-Shirts

If you really loved me, you'd answer faster

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

You can't get what up

"So that's where you were last night."

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Well, it's another brand-new day. What do you say to getting up and looking the damn thing straight in the eye?"

Chicken: the one-man show

"A road yet uncrossed, My heart takes wing at the sight - The journey is life."

Writer's irony.

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

'Existential truckstop'

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

The Lonesome Highway - Next 30 Miles No Shoulder to cry on.

Baroque

An Autobahn with an automatic transmission control

How does she get her grass so green?

"Don't just sit there give me a hand."

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

"I believe jazz did come up the Mississippi, Ted, but not quite as far as East Moline."

"Well according to this you're sat in my wealth corner."

'You don't see any for hours, then three come along at once.'

'We don't think of it as an investment but as a metaphor.'

'I wish someone would invent faster clocks.'

Why you must get up.

This highway is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual highway you would have been somewhere by now.

"Where's the magic gone, Harold?"

'You are now entering Samville. Samville needs a ride.'