Door Slammer Pillows

The Synchronized-Swim Team Quits

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

Emergency exit into Space

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

Open entrance door to find exit door directly behind it.

"You rang?"

Woman is held back in her career by a male boss

Look out, here comes the old man

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

'Curiosity'

Door

"This is probably how they keep getting in."

Snail Peephole

Janus faced

"How's your blogging going?"

'The answer is still no. I'm not interested!'

"How long will it take to widen this door?"

Clinic For Those With One Leg: Wipe Your Foot.

Destroying Music Speakers.

The best way to teach the cat how to read?

"It's those bloody Jehovah's Witness kids again! Knocking and not running away!"

"Cherchez la femme."

"I think Jim Morrison is over-rated."

'My husband I haven't been sleeping so we changed from a memory mattress to an amnesia one...we're still not sleeping properly, but now we've forgotten all about it by the time we wake up.'

New Home

'Can I stress that this technique must only be used as a last resort.'

"Slide dammit!"

When one door closes. . . another opens!

"Hey fellows, this one's open."

Acting Beyond My Means, Please Help.

'-and now, everyone's favourite!'

"Thank, Baldo. You're such a gentleman, not like Joey. He's such an inconsiderate bum."