Door Guardian Mugs

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

"He likes it."

"For goodness sake, not again, it's day-time but we can't see the sky: It must be another oil spill..."

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

Fish want out of polluted river.

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

"Beware of God"

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

"Boy, the kids are growing up so fast!"

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

"Tempting, but I'm on a plastic cleanse this week."

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

The proper way to wear your mask

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"We wish we could drink the water."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Press spy infiltrates Buckingham palace dressed as a guard.

Bashful Royal Guard

'Which end's the shallow end?'

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Save the river.

Will work for clean water.

"If the stock market goes to infinity, would we be able to pay off the national debt?"

"I may be a newt, but I'm still King -- find that witch!"

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

Dignity and Impudence.

Minnesota ground water

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

'What do you mean give the boy a house key? He'll lose it, learn how to break in despite our sophisticated security system and be on his way to a life of crime.'

'Isn't it great Darling: The kids are now old enough to have dinner ready when we get home...'

Soldier With Mouse Ears.