Doomster With A Twist Pillows

'The good news is he won't survive to say 'I told you so'.'

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

'Hey, I think my parents fooled me. This game is called 'Algebra Hero'.'

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

'Frankendumpty'

"C'mon! C'mon! Almost there..."

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

Man and dog playing a car simulation. The dog has a fan to simulate his head out of the window.

Wow! It's like I'm in a real field with cows and everything!

'They come down here to smoke.'

'I always come outside for a smoke.'

"It might be a better trick if you didn't use see-through glass"

"I kept following my dreams until my dreams filed a restraining order against me."

BMX Tricks

'Whatever you do don't press the parallel dimensions button again!'

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"Now where did I park my car?"

The Grim Reaper feeding pigeons arsenic.

"It's a wireless mouse...filed with catnip!"

Nijinsky Moving Company . Ballet dancers.

Extreme Court Reporting

'Are you sure you followed the pattern right?'

Customs and Examinations.

'I hired a decorator.'

Lady with facemask smoking

'No, it doesn't connect to an X-box!'

"Let's go someplace awful to avoid the tourists."

"The hammock web structure lures prey into a momentary feeling of relaxation before they realize they can't get out."