Doom Dweller Pillows

'I told you so.'

'Don't ask me why but he feels a great deal of pride in calling it his 'man-cave'.'

Optimist

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Early on-line shopping

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

Student Food Pyramid

'I'd like to come home... if I could.'

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

I will not write on walls. I will not write on walls...

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'It's kinda like an office with a window. The guy in the next cubicle put his fist through the wall.'

Turtle Home

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"No, first you have to evolve into a man, then you can have a man-cave."

'Wow... What did you use for bait?'

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

'Mum, my teacher said I had good physical attributes for speaking Italian...'

How to survive the coming crash.

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

"And then yesterday, I had an epiphany: The best way for me to overcome my paralyzing fear of a global ecological/economic collapse is to find a way to turn it into a lucrative career!"

A Bubble of Countryside.

Climate Change Contingency House

Please use other dimension.

The End is Near/Just the Beginning

Computer Gamers.

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"He'll never be good enough to snatch this pebble from my hand."

Prepare to meet your author today!

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"

"God, I love the smell of sunblock in the morning."