Domestic Settings T-Shirts

"Please don't go!"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Ironing day.

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

"You'll have to fetch your own slippers. The dog resigned."

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

"We were sad last year when we couldn't have the whole family over for the holidays, right?"

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

"This is our coffeemaker room."

"Here comes the sports section!"

'I know, I left the electric blanket on too long.'

Mouse showing wife the heart shaped mouse he has made

Romance over the Irons

"It's so hard to settle on a office temperature that everybody likes."

"You rang?"

"My client is being more than fair. She is willing to let you keep all the shoes and the house."