Domestic Settings T-Shirts

"Please don't go!"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

Ironing day.

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Teddy queuing for the Bathroom

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"You'll have to fetch your own slippers. The dog resigned."

"Come on... you love knocking things off the counter!"

"Look what I bought to encourage visitors to go home early."

"Oh c'mon, Phil. Everyone knows we only stay together for the giant tortoise."

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"We were sad last year when we couldn't have the whole family over for the holidays, right?"

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'I know, I left the electric blanket on too long.'

"Here comes the sports section!"

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

"It's so hard to settle on a office temperature that everybody likes."

Mouse showing wife the heart shaped mouse he has made

"This is our coffeemaker room."

Romance over the Irons

"You rang?"

'No wet paws in Kitchen'