Domestic Multitasker Gifts

"Talk to me while I ignore you."

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Hassled Mother.

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

Handbag: But You Have Kids and a Dog/But Have Kids

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

A little boy is crawling through a sandbox towards his mother as though he were dying of thirst in a desert.

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Homeschooling

Studying and technology

"You wouldn't believe how many patients he sees in a single day!"

Having It All

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

"What?!"

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

Stroller Cellphone