Digital Multitasker Gifts

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Dennis, I would like to talk to you for a minute-off-line."

I'm on live chat support, phone support, email support and text support - and they all have me on hold.

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

Checking phone while walking.

"Sorry, give me one second."

You were watching tv on your cellphone while driving, and almost hit an old lady. Guilty. No more multitasking. You are no longer allowed to do two things at once. Okay. Or three things! Death of a loophole.

Stroller Cellphone

The perils of texting while stampeding.

'I can't take your call right now.. two text messages, 14 emails, and two movies are ahead of you.'

'Laptop? No, I'm on my bellytop.'

"I'm busy right now. Ask your mom if she can be interactive this evening."

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

"I'll be back in an hour, email me if there's a problem text me if it's a big problem, call me if it's an emergency."

FEED ME!

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Hassled Mother.

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

Overloaded with extracurricular activities, Griffin's body began to grow an extra brain to cope with it all.

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

Soccer kids texting

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'