Domestic Dishologist Gifts

'I like home cooking if it's in someone else's home.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Party time.

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

'You don't appreciate anything I cook!'

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

On the house

Recipes.

'Almost done.'

Please pass the fire extinguisher.

Mum's love of china had reached critical levels.

Chefs about to duel with custard pies

"There's food in the fridge, and clues about the state of our marriage all around the house."

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

'I had it for lunch.'

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

"I admire your devotion to duty."

Christmas dinner - Turkey Horror Flicks.

"What is this?... Just in case the doctor wants to know."

'In another universe parallel to our own.'

"Tia Carmen, did you ever use a stool to cook?"

'Really, Derek's fusion cuisine is something to die for.'

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

"Darling, sorry to bother you, but the steak won't fit into the toaster..."

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

'What happened to you?'

Turkey Fry on the Grill