Domestic Discord Explorer Pillows

"Why are there hoofprints on the toilet seat?"

Cellphone Islands

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

The bankruptcy sale at the Entropy Institute was going to more difficult than Dave thought it'd be.

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

Working from home.

Kingfisher feeding from a water lamp.

"I tried working at home, but my wife didn't like me performing colonoscopies in the dining room."

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

"Lift your stems."

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Stay at Home Yellowstone.

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

The Side Effect of Self-Awareness

The Lonesome Highway - Next 30 Miles No Shoulder to cry on.

'Darling - have I ever told you how much you love me. . .?'

"Is there anything else I can do wrong for you?"

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

When they said more people were choosing to holiday at home I think they meant in the UK

No Man is an Island

Interior Monologuist

Chat Bot

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. III

"... starts Friday at a theatre near you."

Man on Desert Island reads about himself.

Very rarely are we as harsh to colleagues as we are to ourselves.

ABSOLUTELY NO SKATEBOARDING