Domestic Comic T-Shirts

"I'm sorry, dear. I wasn't listening. Could you repeat what you've said since we've been married?"

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Take me to your Larder!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

'Occupation? You name it, that's ME.'

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"The blow drier is broken."

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'