Doggy Drama Making Day-to-day Office Work Amusing Gifts

Sparky goes outside to do his business.

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

"It's a wonderful partner's desk-but we think they didn't get along."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

"I heard you're top dog in trust and loyalty training."

Walkie Talkie Company CEO has in/out boxes labeled: Talk the talk, Walk the Walk.

Where do you see yourself in five years? 35.

Corporate Scapegoat of the Month (Poster hanging on company hallway)

'Your loyalty to the company is exemplary, Potter, but we'll have to let you go if you can't stop chewing up the conference room furniture!'

"It's the never-ending struggle between the State Department and the Department of Defense."

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

The entire team applauds you.

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

'Pay no attention to him. He's just a disgruntled former employee.'

Scene from an early draft of Moby Dick

See? This is precisely why we don't encourage office romances.

'Hoskins, I'd like to congratulate you on your leadership initiative... and if I didn't feel threatened, I'd keep you on.'

"I hope your day is going bad."

"We'd better get over there. The morning coffee scrum has already started."

You want to watch it here, a lot of back-stabbing goes on.

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

Goodyear Blimp flying round globe.

The Last Husband and Wife Team Hired

'Just for the minutes did anyone manage to catch the chairman's parting words?'