Doggy Daycare Enthusiast Pillows

'Now, shake, boy, shake...'

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

"I'm bored."

'Of course I put my kids first! Look at how much I pay the nanny!!'

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

'So this is goodbye then!'

Children's Nursery

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'Next time your kid has a party, blow up the balloons with an airpump!'

Dog Weightlifting

'You treated his ears last year, but I guess the medicine didn't work because he's still shaking his head!"

'This is great. No dishes to wash!'

Sheepdog

"He's a hypochondriac."

"He's suffering from heat exhaustion, may I suggest removing his coat?"

'As a baby sitter, you shouldn't think of me as a bratty kid...think of me as a jobs creator!'

"Your nanny is paid to be patient with you."

"I take my babysitting job very seriously."

"We need to talk about your diet."

"I really don't mind having my nails clipped, but I'm too easy, she'll think she can brush my teeth."

Different Perspectives on Childcare

'This is NOT to be taken with toilet water.'

Rockwell School

'Got to raise the price of dog food again! Income's down from last year."

"I'm sixteen years old and have been a babysitter for the past six months!"

"Thanks again. You've got a great house and a fun care provider."

Shifting the blame 101.

-"Just look at him, he loves me." -"Jesus, you're such a dick-head."

'I used to just walk dogs but it turns out there's a shortage of nannies in this area.'