Doggie Door Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Looks like you didn't make the list...but if you can fit through the doggie door, I'll look the other way'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

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'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

Dog Park Zoom

"What's all this?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

"Watch his feet - if he doesn't step into the throw, he's going to fake it."

Being able to digest news quickly is a sure sign of intelligence.

Dog Sees Only Food

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

"What's worse, that or this?"

"And everything from my dig is brought here where it's identified, classified, interpreted, and the eaten."

'Harvey, I'm afraid the dog has the mailman intimidated.'

"What, again? You've gotta be kidding me!"

"You've got to lay off the homework."

Dog executives are in a duel

Dogs and Cake

Dog Show: Worst of Breed

"Now that's art!"

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"It was a really classy restaurant. The waiters drop the food on the floor for you."