Doggie Detective Fans Pillows

'It used to be that I'd sniff out drugs on the job and leave it at that, but then they started to call me...'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Dog Nightmares

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

"Shhh! I'm hiding from Mistress who wants to go on a walk! It's cold and raining outside: no way I'm wearing that stupid coat again!"

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

'Where my balls go?'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Fido and Fifi

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

Wanted dog! reward!

He Did It!

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

A detective and a dog are tracing footsteps and dog prints.

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"You mean, with that yakerpoop app, you can have a service stop by and puck up your bag of crap?"

"Someone at this address is intercepting foreign hacking codes."