Dog Detective Admirer Pillows

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

"He was a very good boy."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Now I really hate poetry."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"Meow"

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'Well, they're just great for running down gazelles and jackals!'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

There are no rats with collars...

Fifty Shades of Gray

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

"What's all this?"

"We should get out to the country more often."

"Don't tell anyone, but some of my best cartoons are about cats."

Flea Philosophy.

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Pet owner hanging Obedience School diploma