Dog Meet-ups Pillows

'Let's go before everyone starts telling their stupid owner stories.'

Skeleton playing fetch.

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"I have no thumbs."

Collies Without Borders

'Not here - home!'

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Actually, she's turned out to be a very clever pet. Watch when Rex stands up, she'll feed him a biscuit.'

Chasebook

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Watchdog on Holiday

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"Gesundheit!"

Hombre's Best Friend.

'Master Pavlov is a bit strange these days: For some reason, he rings a bell before serving us dinner...'

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

'So much for dogs looking like their owners'

"We need to channel his energy into something positive."

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

"I'm going to level with you. I find you to be disturbingly insane."

"You should run for president."

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

Prepper Dog

When Dogs Rule

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

Dog fetches dice

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."