Dog-loving Goal-getter T-Shirts

'Now, go and watch it with him. And remember to get overexcited. He'll think you're clever.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Canine Scentipede

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'You could always say the dog ate your lesson plan.'

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

Gym Dog

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'We had him trained to stay off the furniture, right up until we gave up.'

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

'I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid that's inappropriate.'

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

"He's like having our own personal trainer. . ."

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

Teacher's pet dog

Dog Igloo.

'Click it or ticket.'

Jumping Dogs

'Beware of SUV.'

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

Houdini's Dog

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

"What's worse, that or this?"

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'