Dog Loving Dishwasher Pillows

"Good dog!"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"The election's over, Trump won, the illegals are being deported and I'm here for one of them there high-paying American jobs he promised."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Beats me how I managed before getting a financial support animal."

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

Recipes.

Wanted: dishwasher or handsome rich guy.

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

"Sorry folks. We'll be airborne as soon as we finish de-icing."

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

'We're extending an offer of employment to you contingent upon the results of a drug test, psychological consultation...'

Dog.

'We already have a helper monkey for that.'

'I'm sorry Jane, but this time your anthropomorphism has gone too far.'

Veterinary Surgeon's waiting room, dog walking in through pet door.

'I'm hoping to get a pony when I'm older!'

'Rubber pork chops. Excellent choice, Sir. With or without squeakers?'

"Dropping a spoon means a beautiful woman will visit soon."

'Oscaar? Where aaaare you? Portrait time!'

"This makes a nice change from 'Fetch'!"

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

"Anything, really. There's almost nothing I won't eat."

"Ms. Hoffman, we're from the SPCA investigating allegations of animal cruelty. Is it true that you force your small dog to wear holiday sweaters?"

Hair of the dog spots: a dog wearing a beret

"We have a lot to be thankful for too."

"I'm sorry, you kept reading the paper and I couldn't wait any longer."