Dog Hotelier Mugs

"Do you want a bed or do you prefer to sleep on the furniture?"

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Bed and Breakfast

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

Ino & Frieda's 'Bed and Bagel'

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

Mexican Dog

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

Carpet

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

'We only have rooms with real teeth left!'

"Could I possibly get a bigger room?" (man bent over backwards).

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

"Do you have a room for a couple of knights?"

"I don't allow pets on the furniture, but I do allow them on the guests."

"This is a bend and breakfast. You sleep on a cafeteria table."

The suite hereafter.

"Once I finish obedience school, I plan to stray around Europe for a year."

Extremes meet - A very tall guest is shown to a short bed.

'No, I'm afraid we're dull. But we do have two vacancies in the Kitchen.'

'I also provide a cockadoodle-doo wake up call service if you want when you're away from the farm...'

'My first overseas holiday - and what a disaster! I spent most of the time in quarantine...

"I see this place is very popular with tourist industry workers."

Puffy's Safe Travel Inspection Station

Dog Ban On Beach. Mar-Oct.

"A bed tax for visitors is just a first step. To further stimulate tourism to the UK after Brexit, we'll charge you for leaving, the UK, e-mailing the UK, writing to the UK, calling the UK and finally, avoiding the UK altogether."

Branch No3 is free sir: It will be $10...

A dog driving a car as a man sticks his head and tongue out the window

'When you said this was a three star hotel, I didn't expect to see them through a hole in the roof!'

'I know you said this was a four star hotel, but I didn't expect to see them through a hole in my ceiling!'

'And there's extra blankets if you need them.'