Dog-foodie Pillows

Dog Chopsticks

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

Dog Chow Mein

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

'Rover is sulking because he helped bag the goose and all he gets for dinner is dog food.'

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

"For what you are about to receive..."

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

'I pity the poor schlub whose job it is to make that call.'

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

'I'm sorry Jane, but this time your anthropomorphism has gone too far.'

New for aging dogs: Grecian Canine Formula.

'Dang! Oh well, I won't have to feed him for a year now.'

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

'Believe me, I've checked. There are no shows on the Food Channel devoted to cooking kibble.'

"Wait! I forgot the garnish."

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

Limits of Canine Philosophical Inquiry.

'Cannibal.'

'I'll take your word for it that dog food tastes good on crackers.'

"First rules of chef school: no serving table scraps, and if food falls on the floor, leave it."

The Four Basic Food Groups - Dry, moist, biscuit, bone.

'I can understand my mother and my first-grade teacher being there, but there's also a TV announcer who does dog commercials and a second-string catcher for the Detroit Tigers.'

"Have you got a book about the proper way of feeding a dog?"