Dog Food Fanatic T-Shirts

'Believe me, I've checked. There are no shows on the Food Channel devoted to cooking kibble.'

Counting ribs

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"You keep impeccable time."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

"Sorry honey, I'll be late. The boss told me to stay."

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

'Rover is sulking because he helped bag the goose and all he gets for dinner is dog food.'

Dog Chow Mein

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'

All You Can Eat

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

Waiting staff

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

Cutlery store: Big Sale! Everything slashed!

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"That banquet was most delicious, and yet now, somehow, once again I feel the pang of hunger.'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

Restaurant scene; diners are shown kneeling in reverence at their tables.

Capturing a Cook

A waiter warning the cook about certain customers

"No, thank you. I'd prefer seeing a menu from the restaurant across the street."