Dog Food Detective Prints

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Face it, Earl. We're dogfoodboys."

Coonhound Inc. Petfoods Research & Development

Animal magnetism.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

Critisize your weight.

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'So who needs sonar?!'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Secretive Weigh In.

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,