Dog Duty Enforcer T-Shirts

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Thank goodness for pet doors because the alarm on my piddle clock was about to ring on the rug."

"I'll walk, you shovel."

'We're not interested in loyalty,but we do value obedience.'

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

Monk & Mandi: "I only obey twice a day."

"OK...this season, I'm not taking any fooling around...we must have discipline! We must know the rules! We must respect the other team! But mostly...no yelling at the kids, or the coach!"

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

'This is a phone poll! Are you in favor of a ban to drive and use a cell phone at the same time?'

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

'I hate frisking magicians!'

"My people will get back to your people."

'I don't care how smart he is, he's not allowed on the furniture!'

"I'm giving you a fine for illegal parking. I don't care if this is a traffic jam."

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

'I'm sorry, Mum. But, if I let you off, I'll have to let everyone's mum off.'

'I have a taser! Step away from the lightning-rod, please.'

"Confound it! "Shoot first and ask questions later" doesn't apply to the interrogation room!"

Policeman receiving an award of a truncheon

'I said to recite the alphabet. You may not google it!'

Boy caught by a policeman

"You're my top enforcer, Donahue, but I have to let you go. The word on the street is cultural appropriation."

"Thought so - you didn't wipe your feet!"

'You must be new on the force.'

I can assure everyone that this city is totally committed to apprehending the pants bandit!"

Police appeal for information whilst thugs appeal for silence.

'I used to love this job. You could get away with anything.'

"Sure I did it out of spite, but I want to make it look like an accident."

'You don't know how long I've wanted to say this: I'm ruling you out of order, Mr. Roberts.'

"Man, why do they call it 'doggie-doo' when what they really mean is "doggie-don't"?

"I've got him well trained."

'Do you have any form of identification?'

"Got any I.D.?"