Dog Behavior Detective Pillows

"Sure I did it out of spite, but I want to make it look like an accident."

Barks in code.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Murder in Apartment 6-K

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Obedience School/Disobedience School.

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"Now how did she know?"

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

Dog History

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Fido and Fifi

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'