Documentary Presenter Pillows

"I've been in three documentaries, but I've never been nominated."

Samira Ahmed

Showbiz Awards

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

Live Stream

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

They're watching a documentary about safety razors. Sounds like a Schick flick!

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Crocodile

Kirsten Johnson

Police film evidence

Next camera crew 5 mins

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

Presentation skills.

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Cinéma Vérité

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

Michael Moore creates a UK equivalent of Fahrenheit 9/11