Doctor Visit Accessorizer Pillows

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

"So what brings you in today?"

Fred's Tie: A Momentary Lapse of Judgement or A Cry For Help?

'I like this one. Does it come in a backwards version?'

'-not back with the same old corn are we?'

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

"I didn't start seriously accessorizing until my mid-thirties."

"I looked up my symptoms on the Internet and it said I might get old!"

"But doc, I can't understand what my body is telling me. It's mouth is always full!"

'The best thing for you, is to give up booze and smoking.'

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

Butterfly Woman

"I cancelled my last appointment without phoning the Doctor... so I'm making up for it by showing up without phoning!"

"Your sodium level is high...probably from taking everything you hear with a grain of salt!"

'Heroic stoicism has its rewards.'

"Please fill out these medical forms, which are identical to the ones you filled out earlier online, and have the exact same questions your doctor will ask you later in the exam room."

Bad Outfit Alarm.

Taking blood pressure

"Well, you can tell that David Silva that I said you definitely don't have cooties, Carolyn."

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

"It's cooties."

'Very interesting... your blood pressure is 17 over 76.'

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

"I hope you're not one of those kids who have trouble swallowing pills."

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

'No way you're getting in here with THAT mustache!'

Your nose is running...which I guessing is more than I can say for your feet.