Doctor-patient Relationship Analysts T-Shirts

"It's the only way I can get some of my paitents to listen to me."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'Wow, these lights stay on the red cycle for a very long time.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

Awkward First Dates

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

Relationships.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"I've had you appraised."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

Safe spaces?

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"I need a more interactive you."

"You can't let the tick birds continue to define you."

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

"Don't even think about it."

"Are you uncomfortable discussing this because I'm a man or because I'm your husband?"

"Mort, I'm writing a case study about two diametrically opposed archetypes of your generation. Archetype number one: a bold, debonaire male... The type that suffered no fools, lived life to the fullest, and pursued romance with tough, smart 'dames' who kept him on his toes. And then there's archetype number two: weak, insecure, afraid of life, and dominated by overbearing romantic partners who brought him to his knees. Ok. I'll participate. Who'd you find for archetype #2? You might want to

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

"According to the statistics in this article, you should be my ex-husband and be three months behind in alimony payments."

"Be open about what's bothering you...."