Diy Techies Pillows

"No, I'm not a landscaper. I'm a techscaper. I'm here to blow the dust out of your neighbor's computers."

"Young Frankenstein"

Polly txt speak

Self help acupuncture

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Do it yourself books.

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."