Diy Innovator T-Shirts

Doris' diy bum lifts proved to be a great weight-loss method.

' ...so we decided to put in our own flood protection scheme.'

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

Self Serve Road Repair.

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

"And just like that, Greg's snoring stopped..."

When you mentioned a t-shaped bracket...

The iSaw.

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

"Yes, it is an interesting coffee table, isn't it? My husband made it from an old telly we never use."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Evolution.

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"This is just a model, but you get the idea."

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

Open Source.

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.

Castaway harnessing electricity.

Television company new recruit

Dog Walker

"You're still burying your bones? I store mine in the cloud now."

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

"Hey look, pretty soon Uber is going to have flying cab service,"

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'