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"I told you we didn't need a tree."

'Of course it's not a load-bearing wall!'

Painter gets stuck in the middle of a room

"We're in the tub together. But not like it used to be."

Please pardon the inconvenience while we remodel.

Feng Shui - I've found the perfect position for the book, darling.

"Sheesh, I did NOT say we have to redo everything! Just look at some swatches with me."

Ceiling Paint stacked next to Deodorant

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"This one is a storybook Arts and Crafts home. The glitter stencils and macaroni art is all original."

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"

Flying Seagulls

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

Ceiling Specialists Meet in the Middle.

"I finished that wall papering you've been whining about."

"Why can't you just buy some modern LED lights?"

Painting and Decorating

"Riding Low magazine sent me some cool wallpapers!"

"After Joey left, George was keen to convert his room into an office."

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

Christmas Craftwork

'Honey, I think you overdid the plastic canvas decorations in the bathroom.'

'Neat hey? I've hired one of those homosapiens to decorate the place...'

Motor Cycle Service - Biker having more studs added to jacket

'If we're 'a team', how come I have to do all the painting?'

Michelangelo's painter and decorator brother. He says: 'You're avin' a larf. You wanna get some Artex on that.'

Decorating a column.

Wallpapering

"Happy birthday, darling! Knowing how fond you are of colouring-in..."

'Tell dad he did a lousy paint job.'

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

"Oh crimminy. Now we have to make an effort."

A woman claps at two paint marks on a wall

I'd love to wallpaper our bedroom, but it's too expensive. Not necessarily. Teddy wallpapered his entire room. What?! D�cor. For the cost of a few dozen movie magazines. And a fortune in scotch tape. Rolling Stone.

Ernie loves to decorate his Christmas tree. He starts by untangling and testing a string of lights. Every year he makes new popcorn and cranberry garlands. He has to find the right spot for each family heirloom ornament. Now, should I finish it off with Johnny Depp or Beyonce? Ernie has his own idea about putting a star on top!