Diy Car Maintenance Prints

'I'm 45, drive a hybrid, have a wife and two kids, change my own oil, and have had a vasectomy. What wine am I supposed to like?'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

Deflator mouse

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Fixing the Computer.

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Car wash / Mouth wash

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Whatever happened to 'Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.''

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

You were fixing cars in your sleep again.

"Washing your car will cause it to rain – science or superstition? We investigate on the next 'Cause and Effect.'"

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

'If you're not over-protective of your new SUV, then why on earth would you bring it way out here on our hunting trip?'

Tune up $90. Tinker $20.

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'